Posted by: Anita Montgomery | January 29, 2014

Moving Forward Part 2

Today is part 2 of my 3 part Moving Forward journey, here goes.

In brief, if you did not read yesterday’s blog I share about the 1st 48 hours of my dad’s journey to heaven, today will be the 48 after God called him home.

After I blogged a dear friend suggested I fill in a few blanks, so I will do so today in a way that will honor God. When I mentioned I had forgiven a friend that had not made a phone call to me, that Dad was soon ending his journey to heaven, here is what happened. I pray this will help others that may have experienced something similar or might ever do so.

This friend had asked to go see my dad, my parents had known her before we ever met. It was later that we also formed a trusted friendship. I told her yes, she could go, I was fine with that. But what I didn’t know is that she gave her number to the hospice nurse in the room to be called as dad was nearing his time to be with Jesus.

I had been there for 6 hours by his bedside earlier, the nurse suggested I go home to eat a little and be with my husband and son. That they would call when the time was near. I took their advice and followed through. They also told me I needed to rest. I laid out my clothes and had everything ready waiting for the call to come back. The call never came until after my Dad went to be with Jesus. The hospice nurse with him, called the friend, why the hospice nurse took her number without my permission I will never know. My friend did not call me until dad ended his lifelong journey here on earth. The hospice nurse called to tell me dad was with Jesus after the fact too, he also was a Christian. The floor nurse called and said dad had passed after that. Now the blanks are filled in.

Later the friend met with me, showed me her phone and the time of the first call. Forty four minutes before dad took his last breath. She gave me two different scenarios why she did not call, one was I would not have had time to get there, that was not factual. The other that she felt dad did not want me to be there. I have processed this over and over again, I want to make this perfectly clear, I have forgive her, but often wake up at 4:16 on a Friday a.m. and look at the digital clock at my bedside when that first call came to her and she did not call me. At 5:00 a.m., she did call letting me know Dad was with Jesus. At that point I was stunned, got dressed and my husband and I were on our way to the VA. I spent an hour plus there with my sweet dad that was no longer with us in spirit but only body. I walked by his side as he was taken from his room and placed in the vehicle that took him to the crematory. I loved my dad with all my heart, I was a daddy’s girl and my desire to be with him at the very end was taken from me. I loved being with mom as she journeyed to Jesus and my mother in law too, it didn’t happen and only God knows why.

As Christians none of us our perfect, I too have failed many, but the good news is we are forgiven as we know God sent his son to die for us and we also need to be that example to forgive. I have, but forgetting is hard, no need to dwell on that.

I blogged when mom made her journey to Jesus, it is only now that I have been able to blog about Dad. I need to do so for closure, it is important as I move forward.

Now on to Part 2, the second 48 hours. The day Dad made that journey only hours later I found to Facebook messages, both from different pastors. One was from the pastor of the church dad had gone too prior to his time in assisted living, followed by the nursing home. It and been many months since he was able to be a part of that church, but rather attended the services in the home where he resided. He enjoyed each service and would tell us about them. How special. He also was troubled that his pastor did not visit, he missed that, only a few times. He even shared he would prefer to be at a church he used to go too. We heard his heart.

The church he used to go too pastor was no longer there. But did visit dad on occasion at the facilities he resided, 3 to be exact. We appreciated that.

Both of these pastors in their Facebook message to me wanted to make plans to do his service when we were ready. They had done my mother’s service 3 years prior to this. We shared with them later via phone calls that was not our desire, nor my dads. However, we were told they were still going to do so, they would not meet with us when we asked for a meeting to follow scripture, if your brother has offended you go to them. By one we were told there was nothing to meet about, the other never returned our call. Other ministry peers advised us to shake the dust off our feet and move on, again following scripture. That is what we have done and thus this blog is helping me to continue to follow through, it will give me the personal closure I need.

Yes, the past 6 months have been difficult for me, but I also know each of you reading this have had events in your life that have wounded you, have caused you to step back and forgive anyone that may have hurt or offended you. My goal is two-fold here, one to share my heart to encourage anyone else that struggles with forgiveness and hurt. It also is to encourage you to move forward, with God all things are possible. I am walking this out.

Just recently sharing heart to heart with a friend brought me to a new level of understanding as God had me outreach to her, it also gave me closure with this all. For that I am forever grateful. Like I said in Part 1, Romans 8: 28 clearly states … ” And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Good has come out of this, I would not be who I am today, had I not gone through this experience. God has shown me much through these past 6 months, we never stop growing or allowing Him to mold us and shape us into the person he created us to be.

I am continuing to put myself on the potter’s wheel this very day.

Thanks for hearing my heart and sharing my journey, again please know as Christians we are not perfect but forgiven, I keep asking myself what have I learned from this all and how can I apply it to my life as I move forward.

Part 3 will be posted in the next few days, you will love the way this journey ends, to God be the glory!

Til’ next time …

~Anita Montgomery

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