Posted by: Anita Montgomery | October 25, 2014

Boundaries

Today’s blog is helping me focus on an area of my life, I am presently working on. In the past not being able to do so, resulted in me over giving and consequently, I ended up in clinical depression. This is a word many don’t like to hear about, but it is very real. In this particular blog I am not here to focus on depression, but rather on one of the areas I am working on, in helping me move forward.

I felt I was to google the definition of boundaries, that’s simple enough, right. Well, not only did the word boundaries pop up, but personal boundaries. Wow, that has really gotten my attention.

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.[1] They are built out of a mix of beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning.[2][3][unreliable source?]

According to some in the counseling profession, personal boundaries help to define an individual by outlining likes and dislikes, and setting the distances one allows others to approach.[4] They include physical, mental, psychological and spiritual boundaries, involving beliefs, emotions, intuitions and self-esteem.[5] Jacques Lacan considered them to be layered in a hierarchy, reflecting “all the successive envelopes of the biological and social status of the person”[6] from the most primitive to the most advanced.

Personal boundaries operate in two directions, affecting both the incoming and outgoing interactions between people.[7] These are sometimes referred to as the ‘protection’ and ‘containment’ functions.[8]

This describes exactly where I am in my life at the present. I will share why, as it might help someone else. That’s also a goal as I blog, plus my blog is a reminder to me personally of what God is asking me to do.

Some don’t understand, others do, but to be honest I have no choice at this time in my life. You may ask why, I am transparent and being honest here. I am an encourager, I over give and often that has been and still is to my disadvantage. It led me to 3 -4 long years of depression, that’s a whole other blog. I am fine to share I am still on meds today, as that’s what works for me. Each person must do what works for them along with their doctor’s advice, and a counselor if you are using one. I am past the counseling, but still trust my doctor to help me in this journey, along with my Great Physician God.

Finding I once again have become drained from over giving, I am working on setting boundaries, even as I write this blog. For me, my boundaries are built around my priorities. God, my husband and trusted friends have clearly directed me in this area, as I have sought wisdom and counsel. “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Prov. 15:22

I have also asked those close to me to keep me accountable, I so appreciate that they do.

The past few years in my life have been most difficult ones, as I recover from a variety of experiences, yet I know each of us go through trials. I’d like to close with God’s word from James 1: 2-16, this always speak to my heart in times like these.

Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

I pray this has spoken to someone’s heart this very day, I know it has to mine, my own personal reminder.

Til’ next time …
~Anita Montgomery

 

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Responses

  1. Reblogged this on Autism And Christianity and commented:
    Anita just hit it outta the ball park with bases loaded. Thus this is a reblog of a very meaningful post. Thanks Anita!!!!


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